fruit, but too lazy to take his hands out of his pocket to pluck it, he used to snatch it from the tree with his mouth! MARCH OF REFINEMENT.-A well known confectioner of Cambridge was lately requested by an equally well known bootmaker in the same town, to send him some ice, as he was going to give a party. The confectioner returned the following laconic reply:-" Mr. L- never freezes for snobs."

Quills are things that sometimes are taken from the pinions of one goose to spread the o-pinions of another.

THE BEST OF THE BAD.-At a late concert, a testy old fellow, who had suffered much annoyance from the incessant coughing of his neighbour behind him, turned round with "That's a very bad cold you've got, sir;" which met with this gentle reply, "I am sorry for it, sir; but it is the best I have."

PERSONALITIES. -A member of Parliament calls another a liar; the attacked party, demented with rage, says, that is personal, and I must have satisfaction." He might as well have called it a griffin; for the other answers, "No. sir; I beg to explain that I meant nothing personal by calling you a liar; and, I must add, that there is no man breathing for whose personal character I have more respect than for your's." The gentleman who lies impersonally is perfectly satisfied. We lately read of a case much stronger, in which one man kicked another, and afterwards disclaimed personality, saying that he kicked upon public grounds. The kicked had no notion that the invaded part was public ground, but he was content with the explanation

WORTH A JEW'S EYE.-A most veracious Rabbi in the Targum says-"One Abas Saul, a man of ten feet high, was digging a grave, and happened to find the eye of Goliah, in which he thought proper to bury himself, and so he did, all but his head, which the giant's eye was unfortunately not quite deep enough to receive."

AN INVISIBLE ANTAGONIST.-A Gascon officer, who was present at a skirmish, fired a pistol at one of the enemy, and afterwards boasted that he had killed him. "That can't be," said another; "for not a man was left on the field." "Poh!" said the Gascon, "don't you see, I must have blown him to atoms !"

WHEN the mind has been shaken up from the bottom, a long time must elapse after the cause of the agitation has subsided, before a calm comes again.

TRADE may be compared to farming, producing sometimes a good, and sometimes a bad harvest, and so it will continue to the end of time. There's no steadiness in trade, more than in sea

sons.

If a man marry once for love, he is a fool to expect he may do so twice,the chances are against him; therefore, in the choice of a second wife, one scruple of prudence is worth a pound of passion.

A very small fortune is one of the greatest faults a young woman can have, as regards the airs and vanities it begets in the silly girl, especially if her husband profits by it.

The Sabbath is the oldest of blessings the day of rest; the property of individual man. No master may exact labour from his servant on that day; nor may the willing slave exert his sinews in toil without sinning against himself; for his own frame, after six days' labour, is needful of rest, and hath been enjoined to receive it by a hallowed and everlasting ordinance.

LAYS OF BATHOS.-A poet of selfelected excellence, having written a long poem, in which was a high-flown eulogy on the virtues and bravery of George the First, having, by great interest, procured for the effusions of his Pegasus an introduction to royalty; the late elector (who, be it remembered, did not speak his adopted tongue with great fluency, and therefore could not be supposed to be a very great judge of the sublime,) addressed the author in the following words, to the great amusement of the courtiers, and the horror of the unfortunate follower of the Muses, "Sir, the boem is peautiful-I may say, all bathos.”

CURIOUS FACT.-Dr. Buchanan, in a letter to the Rev. Mr. Brown of Calcu ta, dated "Borders of Travancore, 18th of October, 1806," mentions a curious fact in Natural History.-He says, "I write this at the bottom of the lofty mountain called Cape Comorin, whose rocky head seems to overhang its base. The birds which build the pendulous nests are here very numerous. At night each of their little habitations is lighted up, as if to see company. The sagacious bird fastens a bit of clay to the top of the nest, and then picks up a firefly, and sticks it upon the clay, to illuminate the dwelling, which consists of two rooms. Sometimes there are three or four flies, and their blaze of light in the little cell dazzles the eyes of the bats, which often kill the young of these birds."

SAGACITY OF DOGS.-An officer in the 44th regiment, who had occasion, when in Paris, to pass one of the bridges across the Seine, had his boots, which had been previously well-polished, dirtied by a poodle dog rubbing against them. He, in consequence, went to a man who was stationed on the bridge, and had them cleaned. The same circumstance having occurred more than once, his curiosity was excited, and he watched the dog. He saw him roll himself in the mud of the river, and then watch for a person with wellpolished boots, against which he contrived to rub himself. Finding that the shoe-black was the owner of the dog, he taxed him with the artifice; and after a little hesitation he confessed that he had taught the dog the trick in order to procure customers for himself. The officer being much struck with the dog's sagacity, purchased him at a high price and brought him to England. He kept him tied up in London some time, and then released him. The dog remained with him a day or two, and then made his escape. A fortnight afterwards he

was found with his former master, pursuing his old trade on the bridge.

STERNE. FINE SENTIMENT.-What is called fine sentimental writing, though it be understood to appeal solely to the heart, may be the produce of a bad one. One would imagine that Sterne had been a man of very tender heart; yet I know, from indisputable authority, that his mother, who kept a school, having run in debt, on account of an extravagant daughter, would have rotted in jail, if the parents of the scholars had not raised a subscription for her. Her son had too much sentiment to have any feeling. A dead ass was more important to him than a living mother.

MARCH OF INTELLECT.-A beggar some time ago applied for alms at the door of a partizan of the Anti-begging Society. After in vain detailing his manifold sorrows, the inexorable gentleman peremptorily dismissed him. "Go away," said he, "we canna gie ye naething." "You might at least," replied the mendicant, with an air of arch dignity, "have refused me grammatically."

Wednesday, March 28, ENCKK'S COMET, 1832.-A variety of surmises on the subject of this comet having prevailed for some time past, and these surmises being of a nature to insinuate its prejudicial effect on our own globe, even to the extent of engendering prophetical denunciations of the mischief which it will occasion, that learned astronomer, Professor David, of the University of Prague, has thus set forth his opiniou upon the subject. He saysIt appears high time to allay the apprehensions which have been excited, and to state the results at which an accurate calculation of its course has enabled us to arrive. This comet has frequently appeared in former years, and was observed from the observatory at Prague in 1825 and 1828. On the present occasion it will be discovered, though only by the aid of the best and clearest telescopes, in the sign Pisces, in the western firmament, and will set about a quarter before 9 o'clock in the evening, between the middle and latter end of the present month (February). It will traverse this sign in the month of March, enter Aries in the beginning of April, and set at half-past nine. Towards the end of that latter month, and in the course of its progress through Taurus, which it will enter at that period, it will continue gradually to draw nearer to the sun, with which its setting will be simultaneous after the middle of May. It will approach nearest to the earth after the middle of June, but will then cease to appear above our horizon in consequence of its lying too much to the south; from this circumstance it will

be no longer visible to us. As, at this stage of its course, the comet will attain to more than 50 degrees, southern latitude, it will be far removed from the plane of the earth's orbit; and even in its nearest proximity to our globe it will be at a distance much exceeding twenty millions of miles.

Ellustrated Article.

THE MOUNTAIN PASS. AN OUTLAW's TALE.

"My father was a soldier. He was a tall and handsome fellow; frequented fairs and wakes, and hurling-matches; and, by all accounts, was handier with the cudgel than the spade. From his wild, unsettled habits, a dragoon officer, who accidentally met with him while grouse-shooting on the moors, easily persuaded him to enlist. He did so, and left his native mountains, and while on detachment in an English village, married the daughter of a wealthy yeoman, who discarded her for the match. She followed her husband to Flanders; he fell in battle; and my mother having conveyed me to my uncle's house, died there soon after, leaving me in his care. "My uncle was the parish priest: he was a kind-hearted simple man. Having no near relative but myself, he became much attached to me as I grew VOL. IX.

See p. 226

up, and formed the resolution of educating me for his church, that I might assist him when old, and eventually succeed him in the parish. Poor man! his stock of learning was not so extensivo; but such as it was, he took care to impart it to his nephew.

"From my infancy I felt averse to the idea of becoming a priest. I suppose my father's habits had descended to me. I would follow a grouse-shooter all day; or employ myself in digging for foxes ir. the hills, and spearing otters in the river. If an eagle's airie was to be robbed, I must be present at the perpetration. I fished with skill; and, for my opportunities, none shot better. I was sent for to all hurlingmatches, and, at foot-ball was considered to be unrivalled. All this was but a poor preparation for divinity; but I was unsuited for the cowl, and circumstances occurred which made me abandon the church for ever.

"My uncle's parish was one of the remotest in Erris; it was separated by

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a chain of mountains, from the more open parts of the country; and, besides the peasantry and fishermen, there was but one family of the better order within the limits of his spiritual charge. This was a gentleman's of ruined fortune. He had been in early life extravagant, and having destroyed a property which came to him overloaded with debts, he had been forced in his declining years, to retire to the miserable remnant of his patrimony, a large mountain farm, situated by the side of my uncle's.

"Mr. Percival had an only daughter; like her parent, she had seen happier days; but she had cheerfully followed him to his retirement, and every exertion of her's was used to make their humble home comfortable, and render his declining years as happy as their limited means would permit. There was naturally an intimacy between the priest and his principal parishioner. They were every day together; and Agnes Percival and I, became inseparable companions. She was a young, artless, interesting girl, and before I even suspected danger, I found that I loved her passionately. I never once considered that a barrier was placed between us which could never be removed by me. I was an orphan, a dependant; my uncle had not saved, as I believed, a shilling from his small income; for he was hospitable and humane, and consequently his parish was scarcely able to support him. I was destined for a churchman-I had no other hope in life. My uncle was well stricken in years, and if he could defray my education at Maynooth College, it was the utmost I could expect from him. Yet I madly persevered in loving. "The Fathers,' and the few dull tomes of dogmatic theology, which formed my uncle's library, were abandoned for Shakspeare, and some lighter books; which Percival had brought with him. My time was spent in killing game and fish, for presents to my mistress-or in wandering on the sea-shore-or reading by the side of a mountain stream, the magic pages of the bard of Avon; and when twilight fell, I mused on imaginary days of happiness, which, in all probability, I was never fated to realize. "But this dream was soon to be dissolved. I had spent the evening with Agnes; our conversation had been free and unreserved; we sat on the heathy bank of the little garden, which, with my assistance, she had formed. Insensibly I became excited, till, throw

ing off all restraint, I confessed my secret attachment, and implored her to return my love. Her face was crimsoned-her eyes were filled with tears; she trembled and was agitated; and I was kneeling at her feet when, at the moment, Percival stood before us; his countenance flushed with rage:-he shook with violent passion-he indignantly cursed my presumption, upbraided me with my poverty; scornfully contrasted his daughter's family with mine, and then ordering me to quit his presence, he took Agnes harshly by the arm, and hurried her from my sight, leaving me rooted to the spot. When I recovered my recollection, I hurried to the shore and for some hours wandered among the rocks. It was dark when I returned to my uncle's; Percival had been there, and from the priest's manner I could easily guess, that he had received from the father of Agnes no favourable account of the evening scene in his garden. The old man reproached me with duplicity; I had deceived him. He had educated me carefully for the priesthood, and I was about to throw away an opportunity of settling myself for life.

"I was silent, and he marked my irresolution. Pat,' said he, with much emotion, I have hitherto been a father to you, and out of a small income, I saved this purse for your college expenses.' He took out from his bureau an old glove, filled with old coins and a few bank-notes. "I have promised Mr. Percival, that you shall leave this place to-morrow. Enter Maynooth forthwith; take this, it will defray your expenses there; come back to me a student, or never come again.' So saying, he rose abruptly, entered his little sleeping-room, bolted the door, and left me standing in the kitchen, with the old glove filled with dues and offerings in my hand.

"Left to myself, I quickly formed my determination. I collected my small stock of linen, wrote a tender epistle to Agnes; bidding her adieu, and telling her that for her I had left home and kindred; entrusted my letter to an idiot boy who lived with my uncle, and with my bundle over my shoulder, and the priest's purse in my pocket, I started; crossed the mountains by moonlight, and ere morning dawned, had reached the town of Ballinagh, and finding a recruiting party there, I enlisted, and entered the dragoon guards.

"A year passed away. My squadron was quartered in Ballinroben; my fate was unknown to my friends; and my poor uncle little thought that the youth he had destined for theology, had abandoned the Church for the riding-house. I was already made a corporal, and was a general favourite with the regiment. "One evening I was cleaning my appointments at the stable-door, when I perceived a wild-looking lad, wandering through the barrack-yard, and staring at every dragoon he passed. His appearance was familiar to me. I approached him, and discovered the well-known features of little Martin, my uncle's idiot servant. The poor creature uttered a cry of delight, and with strange grimaces and great caution, gave me a sealed letter. I broke it open, my heart beat, my cheeks burned as I read it. It was from Agnes. She told me that I had been recognized by a herd, while driving cattle from the mountains to an inland fair-she implored me, if I still loved her, to return to her without a moment's delay. Percival had determined to marry her to a wealthy trader from Galway; he was old, ugly, dissipated, and disagreeable, but he was immensely rich, and had offered settlements which her father had accepted. The suitor was now absent, completing all arrangements for the marriage and her removal to Galway; and on the third evening, unless I found means to prevent it, she would be a bride.

"I had a comrade, who had since I joined the regiment been my bosom friend. I shewed him Agnes's letter. By his advice I applied to the commanding officer for a few days' leave of absence. Unfortunately the colonel was absent, and the major was cross and gouty. He refused me. I attempted to expostulate and plead my cause; but he cut matters short by swearing he would send me to drill for my impertinence. My blood, already in a fever, now boiled with rage, and I determined to desert that night. Accordingly, I conveyed by Martin a suit of coloured clothes, which I had fortunately preserved, to a public-house in the town, told my friend my desperate resolution, and, unmoved by his remonstrances, once more put the priest's purse in my pocket, and waiting till all was quiet, scaled the wall, changed my dress, and, accompanied by Martin, left the dragoon guards, as I had left my uncle's house, by moonlight.

"We walked all night, and to avoid

pursuit, rested during the day. On the third morning, [the morning of that night which would see Agnes united to another, I gained the mountain pass above my uncle's house. I stopped to rest myself, and contrive some plan for seeing my mistress privately, when suddenly one of my former companions appeared below, and, waving his hand, hurried up the hill to meet me: he had been watching for me.

"The news of my desertion had already reached the mountains; for on the same night an officer's room had been plundered of a considerable sum; and as I had been observed counting money where I had changed my dress, I was suspected to be the thief, and a military party had been dispatched after me. Heavens and earth! accused of theft; and how strongly would circumstances tell against me! I had unfortunately been remarked by the publican reckoning my uncle's purse, and from my flight, no wonder I was denounced as the robber of the barrackroom.

"What was to be done? I dared not to approach the village, lest I should be seen and apprehended, and in a few hours Agnes would be lost to me for ever. I told my friend my situation, and showed him the priest's purse, with my uncle's name on the notes, and at once removed any suspicion which might be attached to me for the felony. My friend took a warm interest in my affairs, and leaving me concealed in a ravine, hastened to collect my young friends, and to consult with them which was the best course to pursue in my present emergency.

"I remained in my retreat till evening, when Austin Malley, my friend, returned. He brought me refreshments, and also the welcome news that he had seen my mistress, and removed from her mind the disgraceful charge of robbery which had been insinuated against me. He told me that Percival had heard of my desertion, and, alarmed at it, was determined that the Galway trader, who had just arrived, should be married that night to Agnes, and set off next morning for his own residence with the bride. Austin had sounded my old comrades, and found them ardent to evince their affection by assisting me in this my hour of need. We held a council of war, and it was resolved that Agnes should be carried off that night.

"Late in the evening I left my place of concealment, and by the light of a