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Count-What, fortune? [Aside] This is a new wrinkle. Figaro [aside]-It is my turn now. [Aloud] Your Excellency has gratified me with the janitorship of the Castle; it is a very pleasant lot: to tell the truth, I will not be the handseled courier of interesting news; but to make amends, happy with my wife in the depths of Andalusia

Count What will hinder you from taking her to London? Figaro-I should have to quit her so often that I should soon have marriage to burn.

Count - With character and wit, you could one day rise in the departments.

Figaro - Wit, to rise by? My lord is laughing at mine. Mediocre and cringing, and one attains everything.

Count-Nothing would be needed except to study politics a little under me.

Figaro-I know that.

Count-Like English, the basis of the language!

Figaro Yes, if there were anything here to boast of. But pretending to be ignorant of what one knows, to know what he is ignorant of; to hear what one does not comprehend, not to hear what he understands; above all, to have power beyond his forces to make a great parade often of hiding a secret which does not exist; to closet one's self in order to mend pens, and seem deep when he is only empty and hollow; to play a character well or ill; to distribute spies and pension traitors; to melt off seals, intercept letters, and strive to ennoble the pettiness of means by the importance of ends; that is Politics, on my life!

Count-Eh! why, it is intrigue you are defining!

Figaro Politics, intrigue-all right; but as I think them slightly akin, let who will manage them! "I love my sweetheart best of all," as the song of the good King says. Count [aside]-He wants to stay :- Suzanne has betrayed

me.

Figaro [aside]-I rake him fore and aft, and pay him in his own coin.

Count-So you expect to gain your suit against Marceline? Figaro - Would you make it a crime in me to reject an old woman, when your Excellency takes the privilege of chousing us out of all the young ones?

Count [scoffingly]-In court the magistrate forgets self and sees nothing beyond the ordinance.

Figaro - Indulgent to the great, severe to the small —
Count-Do you believe I am joking?

Figaro-Oh! who can tell that, my lord?...

Count [aside]-I see he has been told everything: he shall marry the duenna.

Figaro [aside] He has played the game out with me: what has he taken in ?

Enter a LACKEY.

Lackey [announces] - Don Gusman Brid'oison.

Count Brid'oison?

Figaro - Eh? Certainly. He is the judge in ordinary; lieutenant of the court; your councilor.

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Figaro [remains a moment contemplating the Count, who muses] - Is all here that my lord wishes?

Count [rousing]-I?—I said arrange the hall for the public hearing.

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Figaro Mm-What is lacking? The great arm-chair for you, good chairs for the councilors, table for the clerk, two benches for the advocates, the floor for the gentry, and the rabble in the back. I will go and send off the floor polishers. [Goes out. Count [alone] That rascal embarrasses me! In arguing, he gets the advantage, he closes in on you, envelops you Ha! rogue and jade! You mean to make game of me! Be friends, be lovers, be whatever you please, I consent; but, by G-, as to being spouses

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[Suzanne enters and makes an assignation with the Count for evening in the garden, in consideration of which he feigns to concede her marriage with Figaro, she having previously agreed with the Countess that the latter should wear her clothes and represent her at the meeting. As she leaves, Figaro meets her.]

Figaro Suzanne, Suzanne! where are you hurrying so fast on quitting my lord?

Suzanne Plead for the present, if you like you are going to gain your suit.

Figaro [following her ]- Ah! but tell me

Count [reëntering alone]"You are going to gain your suit !” — I fell into a fine trap there! Oh, my insolent dears!

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I will punish you in such a way— A good decree, quite just. — But if he started to pay the duenna- ! With what? If he paid Ah-h-h-h! Have I not the proud Antonio, whose noble haughtiness disdains, in Figaro, an unknown man for his niece? By flattering that mania- Why not? In the vast field of intrigue everything has to be cultivated, down to the vanity of a fool. [Sees the following party enter and goes out. Enter BARTHOLO, MARCELINE, and BRID'OISON in judicial robes.

Marceline [to BRID'OISON] - Your Honor, give my business a hearing.

Brid'oison-Well! T-tell about it verbally.

Bartholo-It is a promise of marriage.

Marceline - Accompanied by a loan of money.
Brid'oison-I s-see, et cetera, s-so forth.

Marceline

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No, your Honor, no et cetera. Brid'oison-Is-see.

You have the m-money? Marceline-No, your Honor: it is I that lent it.

Brid'oison-I s-see plainly: you d-demand the money back? Marceline-No, your Honor: I demand that he marry me. Brid'oison-Oh, yes! I s-see most perfectly; and he, is he willing to m-marry you?

Marceline-No, your Honor: that is what the whole suit

is about.

Brid'oison-Do you think I d-don't understand about that, the s-suit?

Marceline-No, your Honor. [To BARTHOLO] - Where are we? [To BRID'OISON] What is it you that are to be our judge?

Brid'oison-Have I b-bought my office for anything else? Marceline [sighing] — It is a great abuse, the sale of them! Brid'oison - Yes: they would d-do better to give them to us for nothing.

FIGARO reënters, rubbing his hands.

Marceline [pointing to FIGARO] — Your Honor, it is against this dishonorable man.

Figaro [very gayly, to MARCELINE] - Perhaps I am incommoding you. - Monsieur Councilor, my lord is coming in an instant.

Brid'oison I have s-seen that f-fellow somewhere.

Figaro With madame your wife, at Seville, waiting on her, Monsieur Councilor.

Brid'oison-At what t-time?

Figaro A little less than a year before the birth of monsieur, your son, the cadet, who is a very pretty boy, I'll be sworn.

Brid'oison-Yes, he is the p-prettiest of us all. They tell me you are p-playing tricks here?

Your Honor is very good. It is only a trifle.

Figaro
Brid'oison-A

simpleton !

A p-promise of marriage! Ah! the p-poor

Figaro Your Honor

Brid'oison-Have you s-seen my secretary, that g-good

fellow ?

Figaro-It is Double-Hand, the clerk, isn't it?

Brid'oisin - Yes, b-because he eats with two sets of teeth.

Figaro Eats! I'll swear he devours! Oh, yes! I have seen him for the abstract and for the supplement to the abstract; all that is customary, for that matter.

Brid'oison-The f-forms must be filled out.

Figaro Assuredly, your Honor: if the matter of the suit belongs to the pleaders, we know very well that the form is the patrimony of the tribunals.

Brid'oison-That f-fellow is not such a n-ninny as I thought at first. Well, my friend, s-since you know so much, we will t-take care of your business.

Figaro -Your Honor, I refer it to your equity, although you are our Justice.

Brid'oison-Heh? Yes, I am the j-justice. But if you owe and d-don't pay

Figaro-Then your Honor must see that it is just as if I didn't owe.

Brid'oison-Und-doubtedly. - Eh! but what was that he

said?

Enter the COUNT, preceded by a court CRIER.

Crier [yells]-His Lordship, gentlemen!

Count-In your robes, here, Seigneur Brid'oison! This is only a domestic affair. The city garb is too good.

Brid'oison-It is your-s-self who are that, my lord Count. But I n-never go without it, because it is the f-form, don't you see, the form! A m-man will laugh at a judge in a short coat,

who t-trembles at the mere aspect of a crown attorney in his robes. The f-form, the form!

Count [to Crier] — Admit the audience.

Crier [opens the door and yells] - The audience!

Enter ANTONIO, Castle Valets, Peasants in festal array. Clerks, Judges, Lawyers, and preceding parties in their places.

Brid'oison D-double-Hand, c-call the cases.

Double-Hand [reads] "The noble, very noble, infinitely noble Don Pedro George, Hidalgo, Baron of the High, the Rugged, and other mountains: against Alonzo Calderon, young dramatic author." It is the case of a stillborn comedy, which each disavows and throws back on the other.

Count-Both of them are right. Out of court. If they execute another work together, that it may make a mark in the great world, ordered that the noble shall put his name to it, the poet his talent.

Double-Hand [reads another paper]-" André Petruchio, laborer, against the Receiver of Taxes of the Province." This is an action for arbitrary seizure.

Count This affair is not in my jurisdiction. I can serve my vassals better by protecting them near the King. Pass on. Double-Hand [reads: BARTHOLO and FIGARO rise]"Barbe, Agar, Raab, Magdalaine, Nicole, Marceline de VerteAllure [Brisk-Intrigue], woman of legal age, [MARCELINE rises and salutes] against Figaro"- baptismal name blank. Figaro Anonymous.

Brid'oison-A-n-nonymous! what p-patron is that?
Figaro It is mine.

Double-Hand [writes] "Against Anonymous Figaro." Condition?

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Figaro If Heaven willed, I should be a Prince's son.

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Count [to Clerk] — Go on.

Crier [yelling]-— Silence, gentlemen!

Double-Hand [reads]-"For cause of opposition made to

the marriage of said Figaro, by said de Verte-Allure.

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Dr.

Bartholo pleading for the plaintiff, and said Figaro for himself; if the Court permits, contrary to prescriptive usage and the jurisprudence of the Court.

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