Journal

Suiting the action to the word, the page began

There could not be the slightest possible doubt the cochins were most undesirably near the low fence separating the two gardens. What was the best course to pursue? It would certainly never do to alarm the newly escaped birds unnecessarily, for should they become unduly excited, the chances were that they would at once pay a flying visit to the grounds of the choleric son of Mars. Some such thoughts as these were evidently passing rapidly through the brain of the perplexed Chuckles, as he stood gazing at his chicks, which were serenely unconscious of the perplexing interest that their wayward behaviour had aroused in the breast of their new owner, and energetically continued their congenial occupation of scratching up a recently sown patch of flower-seeds.

At length a ray of light pierced Mr Chuckles's bald cranium. 'Tiddlewinks,' said he, 'go and hide behind a gooseberry bush, as near to the hamper as you can get; and then when you see the birds return and get into it, creep out softly, and bang down the lid as sharp as you can.'

'When I see 'em a-gettin' into the 'amper, sir!' exclaimed Tiddlewinks, grinning; but I don't think as I ever shall see 'em get into it.'

'None of your insolence to me, you chattering magpie; do as I tell you.-I am now going into the house; and hark you, if anything peculiar happens, come and inform me instantly, or it will be the worse for you.'

'Yessir,' meekly replied the youth, who, as soon as he saw the retreating form of his master disappear from view, began to indulge in a species of Zulu war-dance, or exaggerated cellar flap,' which calisthenic exercise, although doubtless much appreciated, in festive moments, by his chums of the distinguished order of buttons,' was not exactly calculated to meet with approval from a number of shy fowls. Therefore, what happened under the circumstances was not a matter for much surprise. The 'old bird' whose peculiarity has been alluded to, by a kind of half-flying, half-jumping movement, succeeded in locating itself on the other side of the fence exactly in the centre of a promising clump of tender annuals; whither it was of course immediately followed by the majority of its fellowbirds.

When Tiddlewinks saw what had happened, he suspended his healthy exercise as suddenly as he had begun it, and stood staring, in a semiimbecile manner, at the cochins, which had so unceremoniously transferred themselves over the way. Wot a rare go!' at length gasped out the bewildered youth. Won't there be a game just, and no mistake! When that there major sees 'em, he'll be on the rampage. Wot's to be done? Oh, I remember. The guv'nor said as how if anything peculiar took place, I was to let him know directly; so, as this is a very rare start, I'll be off and tell him.'

scarcely got twenty yards in that direction, when his footsteps were arrested by a stentorian voice in his rear calling: Hi, hi! you boy there-you in buttons, confound you! Come back, I say, and explain the meaning of those abominable fowls being in my garden, or, by Jove, I'll put an ounce of lead into you.'

"The major!' gasped Tiddlewinks, instinctively changing his slow march into a stampede.

Mr Chuckles was busily employed upon a plan for a proposed henhouse, when his page burst unceremoniously into the room in a state of breathlessness-the combined result of terror and unwonted exercise. The domestic architect thus rudely disturbed in the midst of his weighty labours, directed towards the intruder a look of stern inquiry.

'The major!' exclaimed the distressed youth in piteous tones.

Well, what of the major? What is the matter with the major ? Has he been seized with an apoplectic fit, through giving way to violent passion?' inquired Mr Chuckles grimly.

sir'

No, sir-not a fit, sir; but the cochin-chiners,

'Ah, the fowls; what of them? Have they returned into the hamper?'

O lor, no, sir,' responded Tiddlewinks, who had by this time recovered his breath. I only wishes as they had, sir.'

'I left you in charge of those birds,' said Mr Chuckles, and woe betide you, should they have gone astray !-Now, tell me instantly, where are they?'

That's just wot it is, sir,' answered the page with desperation.

'I have every desire to be calm and temperate in my language,' gravely remarked Mr Chuckles; but if you do not immediately explain that last remark of yours, I shall most certainly be obliged to behave in a manner more forcible than polite.'

'Yes, sir, that's just wot-I mean, sir, that them birds has got into the major's garding and is a-routin' of it up, sir.'

'Then they must be got back again at all risks,' said Mr Chuckles in a 'do-or-die' tone of voice.

Yes, sir, please, sir. But the major knows all about it, sir; he's seen 'em, and said he would put a hounce of lead into me, sir.'

'Oh, he used threatening language, did he?' remarked Mr Chuckles with quite a magisterial air.-'H'm, I think you may retire now, while I just think over what is the best to be done under the peculiar circumstances.'

The youth required no second bidding, but quitted the room with praiseworthy alacrity, only too pleased to be let off so easily.

'Yes, Mr Featherwell, you have accomplished a nice day's work with your present of poultry,' soliloquised the irate Chuckles as he paced up and down the room. 'But I will be even with you, sir; I'll "owe you one," as the man says in the play.'

Could he but have guessed that whilst he was vowing vengeance against the giver of the cochins, that generous individual was being

quietly united in the holy bonds of wedlock to his only daughter!

'I think, mused Mr Chuckles, 'it will be the wisest course to see the major, and endeavour to induce him to look upon the invasion of his flower-beds as a circumstance that could not be very well avoided, and as such, to treat the matter in a philosophical light.' And he turned to depart upon his mission; but just as he stepped upon the terrace outside, he beheld, to his dismay, the podgy form of Major Ironlungs advancing by rapid strides towards the house. In another minute, the two neighbours stood facing each other.

'Ah, major, you here!' began Mr Chuckles in his blandest manner. 'So unexpected a visit from so distinguished a personage is, you know'

'Don't try to humbug me, sir,' sharply interrupted the gallant but rude defender of hearths and homes.

'My dear major, I have not the slightest intention of "humbugging" you.'

'I should think not, indeed; it's not to be done, sir.-Look you here now; I am a man of few words; I like to come to the point at once, even if it be the point of the sword.' As the major uttered these words, there came, borne by the breeze, a lively cackling of fowls. 'Do you hear that abominable din, sir?' asked the man-of-war of Mr Chuckles.

That gentleman admitted that he was not entirely indifferent to the sounds referred to, at the same time excusing the conduct of the poultry on the ground that it was the natural vocation of chanticleers to proclaim the morn.

'Proclaim the fiddlestick, sir!' exclaimed the major. 'Rubbish! Cock-crowing time is at this period of the year four A.M.'

'Well, then, luncheon-time, if it will be more agreeable to you, major,' insinuated Mr Chuckles.

'Nothing can be agreeable to me, sir, but satisfaction,' replied the major, frowning fiercely.

'My dear major, you shall have it!' "That's right, sir. I respect you for speaking out like a man, sir. Let us go immediately to the bottom of the garden.'

"N-n-not in the garden, I think, major; we will have it in the room-this room; just cold snack on a tray, you know.'

a

'Cold snack on a tray! Why, do you wish to pretend, sir, that you are unaware of the object of my coming here? What do you think I climbed over those wretched palings for?'

To say truth, major,' answered Mr Chuckles with the calmness of desperation, I cannot comprehend why you should put yourself to such inconvenience all on account of such a humble individual as myself.'

'Do these abominable cochin-chinas now in my garden belong to you, sir?' demanded the irate warrior in measured tones.

"They do. That is, they'

'Quite sufficient, sir. They are your property; you admit the fact. Then, pray, allow me to inform you that the flowers which just now are being rooted up by your miserable fowls, are cultivated by me at no trifling cost.' And the major threw out' his chest and endeavoured to add an inch or two to his stumpy figure.

'My dear major,' said Mr Chuckles, "I shall be only too glad to'

'Give me the satisfaction of a gentleman, eh?'

'I will pay anything'

'Pay, sir! don't talk to me of pay! Insult to Major Ironlungs can only be wiped out in one way, sir, and that is by-blood! Will you meet me in the duello? quoth the podgy warrior in grandiose tones.

'Major Ironlungs,' replied the peacefully inclined Chuckles with a calmness of demeanour which did him infinite credit, you are of course well aware that an enlightened age has condemned the duello, as you term it; and, however much I might feel inclined '

'Ah, but you don't feel inclined, I can plainly see,' interrupted the major.

"To,' continued Mr Chuckles, ignoring the interruption-'to accede to your request, I am afraid the opportunity for us to maim or kill each other would not be easily found, though we might, I daresay, take an excursion across the Channel. I'll think the matter over, Major Ironlungs.'

Now, a close observer would have detected a look of disappointed surprise in the eyes of the gallant major; just as though he had received an answer which he neither expected nor desired. The warrior turned to depart, and as he proceeded down the path, cried out: 'I intend to have a shot at the old bird, to get my hand in a bit.' He was evidently desirous of disconcerting his (probably) prospective_antagonist by an assumption of bounce and Brummagem bluster.

Mr Chuckles sought the repose of his easychair, and ensconced in its springy depths, freely made use of his pocket-handkerchief in the performance of that operation commonly known as 'mopping' his shining cranium. Phew!' he ejaculated, how warm it is, to be sure! What a fool I have been! Only to think that I Christopher Chuckles, have almost undertaken to fight a sanguinary duel with that brimstony old reprobate next door. It is simply ridiculous, now I come to think of it coolly and calmly. Society is strongly against the barbarous custom; and as I am a respectable and a respected member of society, and a good Christian, how can I conscientiously countenance a practice which the world, in common with myself, emphatically taboos?' The worthy man derived much comfort from these reflections, and thereafter made up his mind that he would not gratify the major by standing before him as a living target, to be bulls-eyed' or 'innered,' as the case might be.

'Did I not hear Major Ironlungs in conver sation, or rather, I think, altercation, with yoll, Christopher, dear?' asked Mrs Chuckles as she entered the room.

'Well, Maria, I rather imagine you did.'

'I thought the major was speaking in somewhat elevated tones. What was it all about, dear?'

'Fighting, Maria?'

"Fighting!' echoed Mrs Chuckles. 'Oh, I suppose he was describing to you some of his mighty exploits on the field of battle?'

No, Maria; he did not allude to his past

Journal

sanguinary career.-The fact is, my dear,' continued Mr Chuckles solemnly, Major Ironlungs has challenged me to fight a duel.'

'And you?' gasped Mrs Chuckles.

'I, Maria, as a family man, feel it my duty not to oblige that bellicose individual.'

Ah!' sighed Mrs Chuckles, as she staggered, half fainting, and was only just saved in time by the stalwart arms of her lord and master.

'Hillo, Maria! do hold up. I say'- Here Mr Chuckles came to a sudden stop as the loud report of a gun smote his ear. The crash of firearms had an instant revivifying effect on the apparently unconscious Mrs Chuckles, for she quickly opened her eyes, and gave every sign of restoration, to the no small relief of her panting husband, who seized the opportunity to deposit his fair (but stout) burden in the easy

chair.

'That noise, Christopher, it-it was like a gun going off,' murmured the poor lady feebly.

a

'You are right, Maria; it was the report of gun.'

Oh, do say you're not shot Christopher, dear -do, for my sake-do say you are not killed,' she implored.

Mr Chuckles was extremely happy in being in a sufficiently live state to inform his sympathising partner that he was not perforated by any deadly missile, and as much for his own sake as for hers.

'Saved, saved!' exclaimed the grateful woman as she rose from her seat, and was about to entwine her arms round her Christopher's neck, when the conjugal intention was frustrated by the appearance once more on the scene of Tiddlewinks in a state of wild terror and with something like a limp in his gait.

'Oh, p-plese, sir, cried the scared youth, 'I'm ki-killed-I know I am; send for the 'orspital.'

What is the matter?' simultaneously asked his master and mistress.

'It's all along o' that Major Hironlungs. He wos a-aimin' at the old bird, but he missed him; and he's 'it me instead, and it's horful!' blurted out the stricken youth in apparent agony.

Poor boy,' said Mrs Chuckles sympathetically; and her husband, who had a shrewd guess that the page was more frightened than hurt, observed that substantial compensation for personal injury might possibly be wrung out of the perpetrator of the deed, and with that object in view he should communicate with his solicitor. As the indignant master of the maltreated buttons' announced this determination, who should appear on the scene but the major himself, apparently, from the blue-red appearance of his visage, on the point of being seized with apoplexy, and carrying his gun in a manner not at all calculated to inspire any one with unlimited confidence in the bearer's knowledge of the precise use of firearms.

'I've done it!' exclaimed the intruder grimly, bringing down the butt-end of his gun heavily on to the floor and glaring wildly upon those

around him.

'Yes,' said Mr Chuckles, with dignified calmness, you have done it. Gaze upon that poor boy there, the victim of your inaccurate aim.'

'See here, guv'nor,' whimpered the injured individual alluded to. 'When next you goes for to aim at a co-cochin-chiner, don't you go for to hit a hinnercent cove like me.'

'You wretched offshoot of brimstone,' cried the infuriated major, 'how dare you insinuate that my gun-practice is not-er-what it should be? When I was in the '

un

Before the affronted marksman could splutter out the remainder of his speech, the door was quickly opened, and Mr Frank Featherwell entered the room, closely followed by Mary Ellen, who was hanging her pretty little head, and blushing in the most bewitchingly becoming manner, like the conscious culprit she doubtedly considered herself. The addition to the little party affected the latter in various ways. Mr Chuckles stared and frowned upon Frank; whilst the major looked askance at the donor of untamed poultry. Mrs Chuckles 'caught' her daughter's eye; and nods and wreathed smiles, with other signs, were freely passed between the pair in quick and (evidently) intelligible succession.

'Pray, do not let us interrupt the harmony,' said Frank in a cheerful and airy manner.think, Major Ironlungs,' he went on, you were speaking as I opened the door, and, if I am not much mistaken, the words which fell upon my ear were, "when I was in the". Proceed, my dear major; do not deprive us of your doubtlessly interesting reminiscences.'

'I was merely going to mention the fact,' said the major, in a considerably subdued manner, that when I was in the army'.

'Pardon me, major,' interrupted Frank, smilingly, but I'm somewhat of a stickler for accuracy; was it not in that branch of the auxiliary forces known as the militia, where—?'

'Well, sir, and pray, what if it were the militia?' and the sometime member of that excellent but often derided branch of England's brave defenders scowled savagely, and did not seem to be altogether at his ease.

'Only the militia!' exclaimed Mrs Chuckles in contemptuous tones; whilst that young imp Tiddlewinks indulged himself by screwing up his face into an assortment of new and improved grimaces.

6

'A militiaman after all!' observed Mr Chuckles, sticking his thumbs into his waistcoat armholes in the approved manner, at the same time throwing out his chest. Why, I think I'm equal to a soldier of that calibre; so I advise you, Mr Militiaman, to keep that weapon of yours quiet, before accident number two happens.' 'Do you?' sneeringly returned the major.

Mr

Why, cert'nly,' facetiously answered. Chuckles, gaining confidence as 'the enemy's' increasing discomfiture became apparent; at all events in my house, sir. If you really think that a few extra firing-drills would improve your practice, go and practise on your own

domestics.'

'In course,' ventured to remark the now excessively delighted and grinning 'buttons,' whose injuries had been purely imaginary; and mind you take better aim-yah!'

The discomfited blusterer divined that if he stayed any longer, he would be pretty certain to hear things said of him which would by no

means conduce to his serenity of mind, so he shouldered his gun, and giving a final glare all round, beat a hasty retreat, followed by the smiles of all.

'And now,' said Mr Chuckles, turning with an air of authority to Frank and the fair runaway, 'pray, what is the meaning of this?'

O pa, dear, do forgive us!' pleaded the brand-new bride; it was all my fault, it was, really.'

"Forgive? Your fault? What is your fault?' queried the perplexed Chuckles.

The fact is, said Frank, stepping forward to the relief of his bride, and holding out his hand to his newly made father-in-law, 'me-I-that is -and your daughter-dear Mary Ellen-are

married!'

'Married!' exclaimed Mr Chuckles. How?

When? Where?'

'My dear father-in the usual way-half an hour ago at the little church round the corner, promptly answered Frank, delighted and surprised that the old gentleman took the matter so quietly. Without my consent, eh, you young'Well-er-you see, sir-circumstances''What is the state of your exchequer, sir?' interrupted Mr Chuckles, looking more severely than he had as yet done.

Frank, who had naturally anticipated some such question, evidently appeared fully prepared with a satisfactory answer. I regret,' said he, 'to inform you that, just before leaving home this morning, I received a telegram which informed me of the demise of a distant cousin, whom I had not seen, or ever heard from, for many years, and who has evidently been so pleased with me for never troubling him, that it appears he has bequeathed to me-no doubt out of pure gratitude-his little fortune-about twelve thousand pounds.'

'Well, my dear boy,' exclaimed Chuckles père with considerable effusion, I suppose I must offer my congrat No; I don't mean that -my sincere sympathy in your bereavement, ahem!'

Then followed a good time all round of handshaking and hugging and kissing; 'all over the shop,' as Tiddlewinks afterwards vulgarly expressed himself to the housemaid and cook.

At the termination of this exercise, Mr Chuckles drew his new-found son-in-law on one side, and whispered But I say, Frank, my boy, wasn't the present of poultry-especially the old birda dodge, eh?'

6 Well-err-you see'fellow in a hesitating manner.

began the young

'Out with it! don't be afraid,' urged the now benignant father-in-law; 'all is ended happily. The fact is, I was partly prepared

Candidly then, sir, it was a-a-sort of what you might call ruse,' admitted Frank. 'Pray, forgive'

Forgive, my dear boy! There is nothing requiring forgiveness; I can but admire your masterly strategy. See what has come out of it! A blustering, bouncing ex-major of militia utterly routed; a good husband gained for my only child; and I have found a sterling son-in-law. What more can we poor mortals expect?'

Frank smiled quietly, and wondered how his 'masterly strategy' would have been appreciated,

had not the unexpected good fortune which had so timely befallen him been put into the scale against Mr Chuckles's Chicks.

TEA AS PREPARED IN THE EAST.

The Hunnias (Himalayan natives) drink tea which comes from China in small packets, made up of the large leaves, small branches, seeds, &c., forming a mass reduced to the smallest possible size by pressure, and rendered sometimes still more compact by a slight addition of sheep's blood. The Hunnias travel great distances, living only on tea and what the Hindus call suttoothat is, flour made from roasted beans or peas. To prepare the tea, they boil the leaves for some hours all night, in fact, if they are in campin a small earthen pot; then they pour out the infusion into a large basin full of hot water, adding some salt and clarified butter (ghee), if they happen to have it. All these naturally make a kind of soup; and the natives can live on it several months, and undergo severe fatigue without taking any other nourishment.

The method adopted by the Mongols and other Tartar tribes for the preparation of tea in bricks is,' says Johnston, in his Chemistry of Common Life, it is believed, that which extracts from the leaves the greatest possible amount of nourishment. They scrape the tea into fine powder, and boil it in the alkaline water of the steppes, adding some fat and salt, after which they pour off the liquid, leaving the deposit. They drink twenty, even forty, glasses of this liquor in the day, mixing in it some honey and butter with a little roast-meat; but with only a little milk instead of the meat, they can subsist many weeks with this drink for sole sustenance.'

IF I WERE YOU.

WHY did he look so grave? she asked. What might the trouble be? 'My little maid,' he sighing said,

'Suppose that you were me, And you a weighty secret owned, Pray, tell me what you'd do?' 'I think I'd tell it somebody,'

Said she, if I were you!'

But still he sighed and looked askance,
Despite her sympathy.
'Oh, tell me, little maid,' he said
Again, if you were me,
And if you loved a pretty lass,

O then, what would you do?' 'I think I'd go and tell her so,' Said she, if I were you!'

'My little maid, 'tis you,' he said,
'Alone are dear to me.'

Ah then, she turned away her head,
And ne'er a word said she.
But what he whispered in her ear,
And what she answered too-
O no,
I cannot tell you this;
I'd guess, if I were you!

G. CLIFTON BINGHAM.

Printed and Published by W. & R. CHAMBERS, 47 Paternoster Row, LONDON, and 339 High Street, EDINBURGH

No. 87.-VOL. II.

ARE THE CANADIAN FORESTS
BEING EXHAUSTED?

FOR some years past the belief has been gradually forming in the minds of those interested in the welfare of Canada that the forests of that country are being slowly but steadily used up; and the matter being one that has most serious aspects, it has been made the subject of an official inquiry, in order that the nature of the causes which may be at work in bringing about a destruction which is greater than the production of trees, might be ascertained, and remedies for so dangerous a state of things suggested. At the instigation of the Marquis of Lansdowne, the Governor-general of Canada, and with the concurrence of Lord Derby, an official communication was on the 2d of July, 1884, sent to the lieutenant-governors of the various provinces of the Dominion, asking for such information as was obtainable on the reported proximate exhaustion of forests. The replies received throw much light upon the subject.

Let us first deal with the small province of Prince Edward Island. The answer sent to Lord Lansdowne by the lieutenant-governor was brief, but very significant. He said that there were now no forests of any extent in the province, they having disappeared under the axes of the settler and the lumber-man.

From Nova Scotia, two Reports were received -one from the present, and the other from the former, Deputy-commissioner of Crown Lands. The former said that, having made inquiries of several gentlemen engaged in the lumbering business in the province, he had found that all, or nearly all, the timber-lands would have been cut over before the expiration of six years from the date of writing; though it did not follow that the timber-supply would then be exhausted. It was found that by carefully husbanding those trees which were too small for conversion into lumber at the time of the first cutting, a second cutting of nearly equal worth could, after fifteen or twenty years, be obtained

PRICE 11d.

pro

in many localities; and that, consequently, if it were not for forest fires, those lands which were carefully looked after would never become denuded of their trees. It was true, however, that the supply of pine and spruce was rapidly being exhausted, and that the lumbering interests of the province were becoming of less importance every year. There was a considerable quantity of hemlock spruce in the province, but in many sections of the country it was being rapidly destroyed for the purpose of securing the bark, which was extensively used for tanning leather. The province could once boast a large quantity of heavy birch; but of late years much of it had been converted into ton-timber and exported. Recently, too, the necessity had arisen for the somewhat extensive use of a number of portable sawmills. A large proportion of the area of the vince was held by agriculturists, who hitherto appeared to have taken but little interest in the preservation of the forests, most of them having stripped more land of its timber than was actually necessary, and had not been so careful of the remainder as they should have been. As was well known, forest fires had done an immense amount of damage in the province, and large tracts of country once covered with a stately growth of pine, spruce, &c., were now almost barren. The Deputy-commissioner concluded by expressing a regret that the lumbering and agricultural portions of the population were not more fully alive to the importance and necessity of preserving the forests of the country; for, had proper care been taken to prevent fires and to guard the growing timber, the forests would be in a much more thriving state than they were at the present time.

The Report of the ex-deputy-commissioner of Crown Lands was of a more lengthy and detailed description. It started with the admission, that the greater part of the continent of North America-which a few generations ago was an unbroken forest from ocean to ocean-was being rapidly depleted of its timber; and the reader